What Your Other Half Should Be

After my last post about settling I thought I would post about what you should see in your other half and what life with them should be like.

If you have truly found the one I believe this is how you should feel:

When you pick up your phone to see it is them calling you should have butterflies.

When you are walking down the street holding their hand you should feel like you are walking on air.

Every time you see them you should feel like you did the first time you laid eyes on them.

You should have to pinch yourself everyday just to believe that you get to share your life with that person.

If you don’t feel these things then it isn’t worth it to me. Love is something that should be enjoyed to its maximum, it is not worth investing the emotional energy in love if it doesn’t make you feel like this. Everyone deserves to and should experience in this in a relationship. If you feel these ways about your partner and they feel they same about you, you should have the most amazing relationship.

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Being the only single person in your social circle

Why is it when you get to your mid/late twenties all your friends have a girlfriend, fiancé, partner or wife? When you meet up with your close circle of friends this fact is drummed home as you feel like a spare wheel and a bit inferior as you aren’t with anyone. Now I helped match make for most of my friends so I have only got myself to blame really but having spent so much time matchmaking for other people I forgot about myself until I realised there was no one left for me.

Why is it that other people find it easier to meet women and talk to women than me? When your weekly routine consists of getting up, going to work, then going off to do charity work and doing some work on the side to afford the mortgage before getting in late to go to bed to do it all over again how do you meet people? All the social things you do revolve around your social circle who normally just want to go to someone’s house or do something where meeting people isn’t the priority so meeting someone comes near on impossible. Then if you do go and do something where you can meet people like going to a pub you have no wingman or singleton in the group of your friends who may be going to meet someone so it feels too awkward for you to try and meet someone so you just end up staying with your group of friends. There is nothing worse than trying to chat up a girl when your friends are in earshot as just knowing that makes you all self conscious and if they are like my mates they will try and embarrass you either intentionally or unintentionally so trying to meet someone when your friends are around is not an option.

You then have the bright spark of asking your male friends other halves if they have single friends but you are never in a one on one situation with them where you feel comfortable doing that so you just chicken out. If you do get the courage to take this step you are then admitting to that person that you can’t find a girl yourself and they then may tell their partner (your friend) about it so it becomes social suicide. If they do keep it in confidence and do have a single friend you then have to play the lottery of what you could be set up with. When you get to your late twenties for many people there is normally a reason why they are single but as the saying goes beggars can’t be choosers. On top of this if the blind date thing doesn’t work out whenever you see your friend and her partner they are going to be asking about it and how it went.

If you are starting to feel like a third wheel at social gatherings you may then start to shy away from going out with your friends to avoid that feeling so now not only are you feeling down that your single but it is affecting you having fun with your friends.

Why is there no place for men in their mid twenties to meet women which doesn’t involve a bar or a nightclub. For those of us that actually want to get to know someone first and to do so without having ten pints of alcohol where is there? Answers on a postcard please.

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The Cruellest Things in Love

In love you can’t help who your heart falls in love with. You know when you first see that girl in the hallway at school, on the bus to work or that new girl who has just started working in your office. You don’t know them, you don’t know their name you haven’t even said hi, you don’t even know if they have noticed you but still unexplainably you love them. It’s like there is no other female in the world and it’s her you want to be with and nobody else. Your mind starts working at a million miles an hour picturing what you would be like together and before you even know it you are thinking about kids and marriage in your head.

The cruel fact of life however is that you can’t make that person love you back. How much you love this person makes no difference, regardless if you love them a bit or a lot it won’t make them love you back. If they don’t love you back you can’t then just turn off your feelings for them and your wasted heart will keep loving them. You can keep trying to work on them and see if one day they will love you but this can be a battle that you won’t win or if you do get them to start a relationship with you it may not be because they love you like you love them.

If only life were that simple that whoever you fell in love with would love you back. In films and stories the media try and convince you that an ordinary person can win the love of the most amazingly beautiful person in the world but unfortunately real life isn’t always like that. Sometimes you can eventually move on over time and get the person you love out of your head but this can be a long road and for some they may never be able to do it.

The big problem comes when you convince yourself that the person you have your heart on does love you or could love you when that person has done nothing to suggest that. When you read too much in to things that they have done or said. There are some cruel people who if they know that they love you will string you along and make you believe that they love you but luckily in life these are the minority.

The key thing to remember is to not rush in to things and let your mind get away from you which is easier said than done I know but if you can it will save you some pain and heartache later. Although at the moment it may feel like this person was the only one, somewhere down the line there will be others.

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