Date Venues

It’s not like I am in a stage at the moment with the girl I like to ask her out on a date but when I do pluck up the courage where do I suggest we go and what do I suggest we do.

The first approach is the casual approach. Inviting her out for coffee would fit in to this category or inviting her for a drink at the local pub. Nobody has to spend much money, it’s sociable and you can stay as long as you like. The problem is if you use the casual approach the girl may think I am boring or not that interested in her as I didn’t push the boat out.

The next approach is the formal approach. Nothing says you love a girl like taking them for a meal in a flash restaurant or a picnic in a nice location. The problem with this approach as the girl may think it is a bit too much too soon. Add to this it is hard to make conversation and eat at the same time.

Then you have the activity date. This is where you think of something you can both go and do. This is good for showing your spontaneous and adventurous side. However this is fraught with problems as if you pick an activity that she doesn’t like or if you pick an activity which gives little time for talking to each other then it might not go down well.

The first date sets the tone for a relationship so you have to get it right, do you play safe or do you take a risk. My advice would be to do your research, find out what she likes and doesn’t like but then be prepared to take a risk as that is what love is all about.

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Striking up Conversation

I always find this the hardest thing to do when I like a girl. If I don’t like a girl I could chat to them until the cows come home but as soon as I like them its like my brain switches off.

Normally the girls I like I would have no reason in my day to talk to them which makes things even harder. If you don’t normally speak to someone or appear to have no reason to speak to a certain person then striking up a conversation with them is going to be very awkward.

Its datings version of cold calling. You don’t know what their interests are, you don’t know what they do, you may not even know their name and they might not know yours. To add to this you will have built this moment up in your head for so long that you are over complicating things and making yourself nervous to the point that you have probably been trying for day to go up to talk to her but chickened out at last minute.

If you are a pro you would have done your research on the girl so you have something to talk to them about but you have to be careful as if you seem to know too much about them for no reason they may get freaked out.

Remember with striking up a conversation timing is everything. You want to make a good first impression so try and choose a time and situation where the person has time to talk to you as there is nothing worse than someone bothering you when you are busy or you are in a rush.

Just remember every conversation starts with one simple word - Hello. After that you are on your own I’m afraid but remember to be yourself and to try and grab their attention if you can do that you are on the right track.

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The Friendship Zone

I have been in this zone so many times in my life and it is the worst place to be. This is when you really like a girl and have spent a lot of time getting to know her without making your intentions clear so she just views as a friend and would never consider anything more.

This is such a frustrating place to be because once you are in it, it is very hard to get out. The only reason you put the effort in was because you wanted to go out with them not because you wanted to be their friend. Once you are in this zone you are stuck as you don’t want to be seen as the bad guy and break off the friendship but being friends with them just make it even harder to deal with as you know you will never be going out with them.

I hate that soul destroying moment when you ask a girl out and they say they just want to be friends. Do they really want to be friends? Are they just saying that as a nice way of saying no?

So a word of warning if you are trying to win a girl over try and make your intentions clear without being obvious and don’t spend forever developing the friendship without asking the question. The longer you drag out the friendship building phase the more problems that can happen. If you do this the girl may think that you are not interested in them and do really just want to be friends or they may find someone else as you have taken so long getting your act together.

There may be some rare occasions where people have managed to successfully break the friendship zone and change somones mind but I think these are few and far between.


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Having a Type

When you are trying to matchmake for a single friend a normal question that will come up is what is your type? Or if you are out with a bunch of other single guys the topic of conversation may come on to it. Myself personally I have never known how to answer this question.

I once tried to have a think to myself and work out if I did have a type and I couldn’t work it out as there are lots of different looks that like. I then wondered if anybody does truly have a type? I know some of my friends have been out with similar girls but I think having a type if you do have a type is so limiting.

My previous girlfriends have been a mixed batch of looks and personalities. I don’t think there is any one type of look or personality that I am drawn to. If you are only ever looking for one type of girl you are going to miss a lot of lovely people who could have been the one.

I now try not to think about types and just let my heart decide. Over the year my heart has picked out an eclectic mix of girls and if I had have had a type I wouldn’t have ever been blessed with the memories I have. I for one don’t want to ever miss the girl who could be the one.

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