The Friendship Zone

I have been in this zone so many times in my life and it is the worst place to be. This is when you really like a girl and have spent a lot of time getting to know her without making your intentions clear so she just views as a friend and would never consider anything more.

This is such a frustrating place to be because once you are in it, it is very hard to get out. The only reason you put the effort in was because you wanted to go out with them not because you wanted to be their friend. Once you are in this zone you are stuck as you don’t want to be seen as the bad guy and break off the friendship but being friends with them just make it even harder to deal with as you know you will never be going out with them.

I hate that soul destroying moment when you ask a girl out and they say they just want to be friends. Do they really want to be friends? Are they just saying that as a nice way of saying no?

So a word of warning if you are trying to win a girl over try and make your intentions clear without being obvious and don’t spend forever developing the friendship without asking the question. The longer you drag out the friendship building phase the more problems that can happen. If you do this the girl may think that you are not interested in them and do really just want to be friends or they may find someone else as you have taken so long getting your act together.

There may be some rare occasions where people have managed to successfully break the friendship zone and change somones mind but I think these are few and far between.


Online Dating

Trying not to be too obvious

One of the biggest problems I find when I am attracted to somebody is trying not to be too obvious. If you want someone to go out with you, you have to show them at you are interested but it is a fine line between that and being too obvious which can make a girl run a million miles.

If you want a relationship with someone you need to do the ground work and build their trust as a friend first which you won’t be able to do if you come across as too obviously in love with them.

The other problem comes is if you are trying to build a relationship with someone at school or at work then the people around you like your friends will be able to spot it and may start teasing you about it or making things very difficult. Trying to chat a girl up is hard enough without your friends making things harder. The other problem comes is when people tell the girl you are interested in that you love them then it may destroy that friendship you have been building.

Like I said earlier though it’s a fine line as if you don’t show the girl you are interested in them then you may spend ages before asking them out or the girl may think that you just wan to be friends.

The worst case scenario is when the girl finds out you are interested in them but they aren’t interested in you and it’s either a work colleague or a schoolmate. As after this has happened you may try to avoid them at all costs, the relationship between you may get weird or you had to do a bit of self preservation and just laugh it off saying that you weren’t in to them and that people were just making it up which will hurt on the inside.

Online Dating