Sunday 28 February 2010

Jealousy when you are single

Jealousy in relationships is quite common but it is also very common in single people. It’s like when your friends have a girlfriend or a boyfriend and you don’t, you feel happy for your friend but at the same time you are jealous that you don’t have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. You think why have they got someone and not me?

It is also hard when you are single and you really love someone but that person already has a partner. Even though that person loves there partner and that they don’t know that you love them you feel jealous of that persons other half. You think to yourself why are they going out with that person? And you think you would be much better for them.

I’ve been there before and it is such a hard place to be. You have all these unreasonable feelings of jealousy that you can’t tell anyone else about and with no way of stopping feeling like that. You just have to keep believing that your time will come and that if it is meant to be it will work out. Instead of spending time being jealous of your friends who have partners invest time in trying to find a partner of your own.

It’s hard to stop feeling jealous of someone that is going out with the person you think is the love of your life but you have to try. Try being happy that the person you love is happy and go out and see if there somebody else out there which you feel the same about as I believe on most occasions that there is more than one girl out there that could be your ideal partner.

Online Dating

Thursday 25 February 2010

What Your Other Half Should Be

After my last post about settling I thought I would post about what you should see in your other half and what life with them should be like.

If you have truly found the one I believe this is how you should feel:

When you pick up your phone to see it is them calling you should have butterflies.

When you are walking down the street holding their hand you should feel like you are walking on air.

Every time you see them you should feel like you did the first time you laid eyes on them.

You should have to pinch yourself everyday just to believe that you get to share your life with that person.

If you don’t feel these things then it isn’t worth it to me. Love is something that should be enjoyed to its maximum, it is not worth investing the emotional energy in love if it doesn’t make you feel like this. Everyone deserves to and should experience in this in a relationship. If you feel these ways about your partner and they feel they same about you, you should have the most amazing relationship.

Online Dating

Wednesday 24 February 2010

Settling

Why is that so many people just settle in love?

I see so many of my friends and people around me just settling for their other half because they want to be in a relationship, they don’t want to be alone, or just because they are too lazy to go out and see what there is around. Some people I know are going out with their other half just because their other half asked them out and because they couldn’t say no or just loved the fact that someone asked them out without loving the person that was asking.

A key thing to remember is if someone asks you out you can always say no. Although it may hurt the persons feelings that person that is asking you deserves to be in a relationship with someone who loves them wholeheartedly so by saying yes you are only hurting them in the long term. Never confuse the feeling of happiness of someone finding you attractive with loving the person that finds you attractive.

Some people find someone to go out with just because that’s what all their friends are doing and don’t want to be the only one without a partner. This is when it’s a case of anyone will do just so you are not the odd one out as in your head going out with someone you aren’t in love with seems better than being the odd one out.

The problem comes when you have settled for your other half and its now five years down the line and you have got married and/or had kids and you realise this is the rest of your life now. Even if you don’t do the marriage or kids thing the longer you get in to the relationship the more depressed with it you can get. You get to a point when you are not even making an effort with your relationship anymore as you don’t care for it which is not fair on you or your partner.

The older people get the more worried they get about growing old alone so the more likely they are just to settle for someone, anyone, just so they don’t have to be alone and they don’t feel they can be picky as the clock is ticking and another opportunity may not come their way.

The key thing to remember is the most amazing girl in the world very rarely just falls in to your life. If you want to be in love and with an amazing girl where you have to pinch yourself everyday to believe you are going out with them, you have to put in the hard work. You have to be proactive and get out there and never settle until you find her.

I think people settling is a big shame as in love it should never be a case of settling. You should be with your partner because you love them and be besotted by them everyday.

Online Dating

Tuesday 23 February 2010

Being the only single person in your social circle

Why is it when you get to your mid/late twenties all your friends have a girlfriend, fiancĂ©, partner or wife? When you meet up with your close circle of friends this fact is drummed home as you feel like a spare wheel and a bit inferior as you aren’t with anyone. Now I helped match make for most of my friends so I have only got myself to blame really but having spent so much time matchmaking for other people I forgot about myself until I realised there was no one left for me.

Why is it that other people find it easier to meet women and talk to women than me? When your weekly routine consists of getting up, going to work, then going off to do charity work and doing some work on the side to afford the mortgage before getting in late to go to bed to do it all over again how do you meet people? All the social things you do revolve around your social circle who normally just want to go to someone’s house or do something where meeting people isn’t the priority so meeting someone comes near on impossible. Then if you do go and do something where you can meet people like going to a pub you have no wingman or singleton in the group of your friends who may be going to meet someone so it feels too awkward for you to try and meet someone so you just end up staying with your group of friends. There is nothing worse than trying to chat up a girl when your friends are in earshot as just knowing that makes you all self conscious and if they are like my mates they will try and embarrass you either intentionally or unintentionally so trying to meet someone when your friends are around is not an option.

You then have the bright spark of asking your male friends other halves if they have single friends but you are never in a one on one situation with them where you feel comfortable doing that so you just chicken out. If you do get the courage to take this step you are then admitting to that person that you can’t find a girl yourself and they then may tell their partner (your friend) about it so it becomes social suicide. If they do keep it in confidence and do have a single friend you then have to play the lottery of what you could be set up with. When you get to your late twenties for many people there is normally a reason why they are single but as the saying goes beggars can’t be choosers. On top of this if the blind date thing doesn’t work out whenever you see your friend and her partner they are going to be asking about it and how it went.

If you are starting to feel like a third wheel at social gatherings you may then start to shy away from going out with your friends to avoid that feeling so now not only are you feeling down that your single but it is affecting you having fun with your friends.

Why is there no place for men in their mid twenties to meet women which doesn’t involve a bar or a nightclub. For those of us that actually want to get to know someone first and to do so without having ten pints of alcohol where is there? Answers on a postcard please.

Online Dating

Monday 22 February 2010

The Cruellest Things in Love

In love you can’t help who your heart falls in love with. You know when you first see that girl in the hallway at school, on the bus to work or that new girl who has just started working in your office. You don’t know them, you don’t know their name you haven’t even said hi, you don’t even know if they have noticed you but still unexplainably you love them. It’s like there is no other female in the world and it’s her you want to be with and nobody else. Your mind starts working at a million miles an hour picturing what you would be like together and before you even know it you are thinking about kids and marriage in your head.

The cruel fact of life however is that you can’t make that person love you back. How much you love this person makes no difference, regardless if you love them a bit or a lot it won’t make them love you back. If they don’t love you back you can’t then just turn off your feelings for them and your wasted heart will keep loving them. You can keep trying to work on them and see if one day they will love you but this can be a battle that you won’t win or if you do get them to start a relationship with you it may not be because they love you like you love them.

If only life were that simple that whoever you fell in love with would love you back. In films and stories the media try and convince you that an ordinary person can win the love of the most amazingly beautiful person in the world but unfortunately real life isn’t always like that. Sometimes you can eventually move on over time and get the person you love out of your head but this can be a long road and for some they may never be able to do it.

The big problem comes when you convince yourself that the person you have your heart on does love you or could love you when that person has done nothing to suggest that. When you read too much in to things that they have done or said. There are some cruel people who if they know that they love you will string you along and make you believe that they love you but luckily in life these are the minority.

The key thing to remember is to not rush in to things and let your mind get away from you which is easier said than done I know but if you can it will save you some pain and heartache later. Although at the moment it may feel like this person was the only one, somewhere down the line there will be others.

Online Dating

Love is...
© Never Giving Up On Love - Template by Blogger Sablonlari - Font by Fontspace